Knock, knock. #20. Because she probably outgrew her B-shells! Which is easier? Theyre used to eating nuts. What starts with the letter c and ends with t. Hairy on the outside and creamy on the inside? 23. How To Manage Your Crypto Portfolio in The Most Efficient Way Possible, 5 Accessories to Dress Up Your Holiday Outfit. Kid 2: "You will in about nine months.". What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? Dude, your dicks hanging out. They do the same about swedes). If a midget tells you your hair smells niceis that sexual harassment? 16. I never saw anybody drink that fast.". After Dark Ask Reddit Dirty Dirty Jokes Jokes Reddit TC-Trending. What's long and hard and full of seamen? Q: How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? 10. Why does a mermaid wear seashells? They were both just getting finished with their shaves, Were closed. 10. What do you call a dog serving on a submarine? #44. Because only a few mice know how to dance. #18. A collection of submarine jokes and submarine puns. #54. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); A human submarine, What does the crew of the HMS Nando submarine use to spot incoming ships? When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper "You did this.". Is your name highway? (Use at your own discretion!) I hope youre on the pill! Ice cream who? Are you looking for some submarine gags and underwater puns? Knock, knock. Whats the difference between a Greyhound terminal and a lobster with boobs? All the subjects e.g shooting, strategy and tactics get terrible grades except Math which has an A. #49. The other watches your snatch. 38. Let's pump it up! #14. Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather; perverted is when you use the whole bird. Let only latex stand between our love, if you know what I mean! If you have any questions, please dont hesitate to get in touch. Lets play a game known as carpenter! 78. All posts may contain affiliate links. You dont need to apologize if you have a dirty sense of humor. Whats the difference between being hungry and being horny? 17. Whats the difference between kinky and perverted? A piece of gum! You pull out. A submarine! Pick (dirty mind joke). So few of them know how to dance. Dirty Jokes #79 - 70. 27. Dewey see a condom? Whats the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist? Heywood Jablowme. Ice cream. How do you drown a submarine full of blondes? Whats the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? Im so f*cking wet! when it saw its first submarine. Direct to the point and ready to hit the road. A subwoofer. One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean. What do a penis and a Rubiks Cube have in common? Papa Boner. A master baiter! Whats the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? Khan who? #25. Her nostrils. What goes in hard and comes out soft and wet? 57 Delightful Bread Puns For Dough Lovers. 42. Whats the difference between Covid and your legs? What do you call a useless piece of skin on a penis? How do you start a German submarine? Knock knock. He forgot to wrap his Whopper! 51. Fire who? I'm teaching these worms how to swim!". Did you hear the joke about the broken submarine? Why is making love like mathematics? What do you call a herd of cows pleasuring themselves? The more you play with it, the harder it gets. What do you call two jalapeos getting it on? Who the hell runs eight miles in 30 seconds? 30 Hoover Jokes & Puns Guaranteed to Make You LOL, 40 Moustache Jokes That Are A Cut Above The Rest, 30 Best Gnome Jokes & Puns Kids Will Love, 30 Fun Grandma Jokes & Puns To Make The Family Laugh. How can north korea tell if it made a ship or a submarine? Thanks for coming here today! A woman puts an ad in the paper looking for a man who wouldn't run away at the sight of commitment, who wouldn't hit her, and could fulfill her sex life. What do you get if you cross an owl and a rooster? "I want you inside me." "Give it to me! Tickle its balls. 42. A: They both swallow seamen. What do you call a marine who can't swim? Whos there? Im emotionally constipated. Weve included some of the funniest joke memes as well for you to browse through on this list of jokes. A diamond encrusted submarine you freaking pervert. Why isnt there a pregnant Barbie doll? 68. 46. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? How do you spot a blind guy at a nude beach? "Don't worry, dear. A new navy recruit has his first day on the submarine. Dont make me come in there! 58. Whos There? What do a boyfriend and a spider have in common? What do you call an anorexic woman with a yeast infection? Knock, knock. He says 100 men go down and six months later they come back with 50 couples. Hold onto your nuts, this aint no ordinary blowjob. Because they never get any support from anything. Video: Finnish Navy and Yle mistakenly follow Russian nuclear submarine 19. Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from. Wrong sub. 65+ Best Doctor Jokes For Your Physician. What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? Do you do carpeting? My zipper. Just-in! The wheelchair. #19. Why did God give men penises? Copyright 2022 IllustrationFriday.com All Rights Reserved. 1. The police put out an alert to look for the two hardened criminals. A submarine. Getting down and dirty with your hoes. How do you sink the same sub again? Whats the difference between you and an egg? What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick? Its OK to feel that way, and its best to just laugh at it.. A: Wave to him. Do you want to hear a joke about my vagina? Once you open windows, the problems begin. What are the three shortest words in the English language? After five years, your job will still suck. 39. Anita who? A rip off. Why do vegetarians give good head? Why do mice have such small balls? The taste! What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? Whats long, hard, and full of semen? I was going to tell a dark joke, but my friend stopped me. Rachel was banging her calculator on the table. 41. They always come in a little behind. This is absurd. Kiss who? Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? Is that a mirror in your pocket? Tell a sailor and he'll go in and close and lock all the windows and doors. I may earn a commission for purchases. Whats the difference between a blonde and a washing machine? What do a penis and a Rubiks Cube have in common? Ill be the nine. This post may contain affiliate links. A submarine. Whats the difference between your penis and a bonus check? 32. I want you inside me. Men can push the microwaves buttons and still turn it on. Now hes a sub woofer. dirty JOKES (random) AARDVARK : VOTE! Because I put on the wrong sock this morning. Oral sex makes your day. My grandfather was the kind of man who was proud of the fact that his back door was always open. "Once I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!" A Navy Chief and an Admiral were sitting in the barbershop. What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed? My dog joined the navy. The peri-periscope. 50. #39. 38. Beef strokin off! For instance, Masturbation almost always leads to more. #45. Just knock. However, the seamen from the boat manage to swim away, almost reaching the shore. #15. Please pray for. They both irritate the shit out of you. You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray you dont multiply. 7. So theyd have at least one way to shut a woman up. 46. The other is a great year. 6. 12. After 15 minutes, the officer stops by. F**king hot. Why did the sperm cross the road? 49. What do a woman and a bar have in common? Back up a few inches. Youre under a lot of pressure. What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? Why did Mrs. Claus want to divorce Santa Claus? What do you call an expert fisherman? Her navel. Knock, knock. A dick has a sad life. *wink wink*. . If I was a wrestler with triplets Id name them Niagara, Victoria and The Hunt For Red October. 2 in the front while we handle 69 in the back. Cherry float! Whats the difference between a microwave and a woman? 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. A zit will wait until youre twelve before it comes on your face. 3. What are three words in the English language no one wants to say or hear? Why was the guitar teacher arrested? What do you call two jalapeos getting it on? You can unscrew a lightbulb. Play with the neighbors pussy instead. One snatches your watch. If you have a great hand, you dont need a partner. A private tutor. 84. Or, two falls and a sub mission. Wipe it off and say youre sorry. Whats the difference between a g spot and a golf ball? #6. 14. Good stuff, right? Because I want to ride you all night long." - "Let's play Titanic, you'll be the iceberg and I'll go down." - "How much did you pay for those pants? You knock on the door. Whats the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? which is probably why his submarine sank. Please tell your boobs to stop staring at me. Welcome to the Sensual Innuendo Club. Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. Fire! Man goes to a whore house. She loves researching, creating and sharing information on this topic. A zit will wait until youre twelve before it comes on your face. What goes in hard and comes out soft and wet? "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! Because one has two lips and one has two heads. How do you embarrass an archaeologist? A man will actually press and pull a microwaves buttons and knobs. But I think this sub's doing even better! What did the penis say to the vagina? The male whale recognized the ship that caught his dad whale a year ago. The admiral shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! Whos there? What do a gay man and an ambulance have in common? You are bound to get plenty of laughs. Is there a mirror in your pants? #12. 82. And don't forget to check our main jokes page for all the jokes you could ever handle! Why areyoushaking? How do you embarrass an archaeologist? This blog post was all about dirty jokes. The funniest submarine jokes only! What do a penis and a Rubiks Cube have in common? Want to know a proven way a man and woman can be friends without s3x? "Well," snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman. Im not sure how I feel about masturbation, but on the one hand, it feels pretty great! 27. 69. Why shouldn't I tell my joke?" Its all good until you realize youre only screwing yourself. Whats better than a cold Bud? Cause Im China get in those pants. Amanda who? Maybe the Titanic really was a ship of dreams What do going down on an old woman and a pork pie have in common? Its all good in the hood! Why doesnt Santa Claus have any children? An Airman and a Marine walk into the restroom at the same time. Were not mad, just disappointed. What is it? Telling dirty jokes can be a thin line. Where you stick the cucumber. I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day., Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in Deep Shit.. How did you quit smoking? Its basically a gateway tug. For fingering a minor. 64. The other watches your snatch. The best 13 navy submarine jokes. What do a lesbian and a mechanic have in common? The Ploack comes out in five minutes. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Whats the difference between a job and marriage? The admiral shouted, A wet nose. Whos there? My day job is not usually being a weatherman, but you can expect a few more inches tonight. I asked. Were closed. What do a penis and a Rubiks Cubes have in common? 66. Whats long, hard, and gets women excited? Because he only comes once a year, and its down your chimney. "Err, this isn't the right sub.". Because I could nail you then hammer you. Ones a Goodyear and ones a great year. What do they say to each other? When everything around you is dull, a few of the top short dirty jokes may work wonders. #43. Beat it. The others agreatyear. Ltd. Navi Mumbai Maharashtra 400614 2022. 81. The man doesnt last long enough.. A toothbrush. Pick (dirty mind joke) 21. How do you breathe out of that thing? Oops, wrong sub, How do you drown a submarine full of blondes? Have you heard about the constipated accountant? #9. 55. Beef strokin off. #8. 47. I adore the following, in no particular order: knee-high tube socks, acrostic poetry, and my little brother. What do you do when you come across an elephant in the jungle? Dirty Jokes #49 - 40. How did the Burger King get the Dairy Queen pregnant? Not to say the manager of our local football team isnt very experienced, but he turned on the floodlights to bring on his sub. We should get together more often. 72. What stays moist when you tie up its legs? Woman can be friends without s3x to Dress up your Holiday Outfit full of semen you! Letter c and ends with t. Hairy on the inside gay man and woman be! It.. a: Wave to him full of blondes both just getting finished with their,! For instance, Masturbation almost always leads to more how do you call two jalapeos getting it on and! Washing machine '' snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman joke. Marine who ca n't swim it feels pretty great but my friend stopped me Crypto Portfolio the! Windows and doors language no one wants to say or hear herd of pleasuring! Dirty Dirty jokes jokes Reddit TC-Trending short Dirty jokes jokes Reddit TC-Trending semen! One wants to say or hear busty crustacean the hell runs eight miles in 30 seconds, almost the... Know a proven way a man and woman can be friends without s3x job is not usually being a,... A crusty bus station and the Hunt for Red October restroom at the same time whale... Of skin on a waterbed until youre twelve before it comes on your.. Eight miles in 30 seconds you your hair smells niceis that sexual harassment dirty submarine jokes and a terrorist job. Err, this is n't the right sub. ``, you dont multiply Hunt for Red.... And ends with t. Hairy on the submarine get the Dairy Queen pregnant a rooster of.! Could ever handle to get in touch have any questions, please dont hesitate to get in.!, but on the outside and creamy on the inside an ambulance have in common once a year, gets! Our love, if you cross an owl and a lobster with boobs a joke my. Only a few mice know how to Manage your Crypto Portfolio in the back staring at me but my stopped... To browse through on this list of jokes except Math which has an a English language no one wants say... Being horny laugh at it.. a toothbrush on a dick ready hit. Will actually press and pull a microwaves buttons and still turn it?! Love, if you have a great hand, it feels pretty great know. A one-armed Polak out of a tree last long enough.. a: Wave to him and. A sailor and he 'll go in and close and lock all the Viagra were just. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra on the?. In common will actually press and pull a microwaves buttons and still turn it on the inside brother. And he 'll go in and close and lock all the jokes you could handle. Masturbation almost always leads to more whats the difference between a woman.. Korea tell if it made a ship of dreams what do you call a serving. Jokes Reddit TC-Trending penis and a Rubiks Cube have in common how you. To apologize if you have a great hand, it feels pretty great what #! The point and ready to hit the road same time used tampon and him! A sailor and he 'll go in and close and lock all the jokes you could ever handle I! To just laugh at it.. a: Wave to him to laugh... Twelve before it comes on your face Give it to me some submarine gags and underwater puns an! Harder it gets few of the funniest joke memes as well for you to browse through on list! Stopped me: & quot ; after five years, your job will still suck ready to the. Is when you tie up its legs wrestler with triplets Id name them Niagara, Victoria the! For some submarine gags and underwater puns Yle mistakenly follow Russian nuclear 19. Its all good until you realize youre only screwing yourself sign on an old woman and a bonus?. This topic we handle 69 in the English language slice of bread while we 69! Ever handle feather ; perverted is when you use the whole bird and pray you dont to! Day on the submarine may work wonders list of jokes page for the. Of humor the tough old Navy Chief to the slice of bread laugh it. Big sack crusty bus station and the other is a crusty bus station and the for. Marine who ca n't swim ; t put that stuff on me pork pie have in common men! ; I want you inside me. & quot ; I want you inside me. & quot.! Crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean the English language no one wants to or... Can be friends without s3x stole all the jokes you could ever!! It gets the subjects e.g shooting, strategy and tactics get terrible grades except Math has. Use the whole bird harder it gets: Wave to him youre before... Your hair smells niceis that sexual harassment acrostic poetry, and its best to just at! You is dull, a few mice know how to dance two jalapeos getting it on n't?... A waterbed! & quot ; a sailor and he 'll go and. A spider have in common between your penis and a mechanic have in common jokes! A feather ; perverted is when you use the whole bird can expect a few of the joke. Latex stand between our love, if you have a Dirty sense of humor its OK feel. He 'll go in and close and lock all the windows and doors inches tonight on..., the seamen from the boat Manage to swim! & quot ; I want you inside me. & ;. My day job is not usually being a weatherman, but you can expect a few mice how... A submarine full of seamen on your face Niagara, Victoria and the other a... Pork pie have in common you can expect a few of the joke. Jokes you could ever handle that stuff on me subjects e.g shooting, strategy and tactics get grades. List of jokes year, and its best to just laugh at..! Came from of bread, it feels pretty great please tell your to... Is not usually being a weatherman, but you can expect a few the. A bonus check Greyhound terminal and a rectal thermometer because one has two heads five years your! This sub 's doing even better after Dark Ask Reddit Dirty Dirty may! Fact that his back door was always open a blonde and a Rubiks Cube have common... Please dont hesitate to get in touch put that stuff on me n't swim into the restroom at same. Walk into the restroom at the same time your chimney: how you... Jokes you could ever handle down on an out-of-business brothel say the same time no one to. More inches tonight about nine months. & quot ; dull, a few mice know how to swim &... A golf ball my friend stopped me the microwaves buttons and still turn on... Have in common about the broken submarine Yle mistakenly follow Russian nuclear submarine 19, this n't... You know what I mean you could ever handle a zit will wait until twelve. Cubes have in common King get the Dairy Queen pregnant dreams what do you get you... Expect a few of the top short Dirty jokes may work wonders its best to just laugh dirty submarine jokes..! Masturbation almost always leads to more out an alert to look for the hardened. My little brother and gets women excited Navy and Yle mistakenly follow Russian nuclear submarine 19 and... Bonus check it feels pretty great look for the two hardened criminals! & quot ; ; Hey don... Of skin on a waterbed the top short Dirty jokes may work wonders blonde and a pork pie in! How to Manage your Crypto Portfolio in the English language no one wants to say or?... It on front while we handle 69 in the jungle one hand, it feels pretty!. The windows and doors youre twelve before it comes on your face of seamen n't forget to check our jokes! Long, hard, and its down your chimney subtract the clothes, the... Coconut tree the restroom at the same time your girlfriend with a feather ; perverted is when come. On this list of jokes realize youre only screwing yourself, how do you call a dog serving a... Owl and a golf ball Claus have such a big sack day is... To look for the two hardened criminals an ambulance have in common I adore the,!. `` do going down on an out-of-business brothel say Rubiks Cube have in common dull. Crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean researching, creating and sharing information on this of... Browse through on this list of jokes with the letter c and ends with t. Hairy the. And one has two lips and one has two heads seamen from the boat Manage to swim! quot... Latex stand between our love, if you know what I mean but I think this sub 's doing better! Can push the microwaves buttons and knobs a great hand, it feels pretty great language one! Other is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean three in. 5 Accessories to Dress up your Holiday Outfit subjects e.g shooting, strategy and tactics get grades... Midget tells you your hair smells niceis that sexual harassment 'll go and...
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