People Are Remembering That Hailey Bieber Was Once A Hardcore Justin Bieber Fan Who Was Obsessed With Him And Selena Gomez Amid The Latest Drama One of ", "Willy Wonka is so weird. hope your time comes, babe. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings. beef stew, soups, gumbo, oatmeal, yogurt. Hope your time comes, babe." I've seen enough. Just remembered in 2020 a company paid me to make a video reading twas the night before Christmas for their holiday party and I read it really seductively for no reason and they replied asking for a non-sexy version because there were gonna be kids at the party, leaving mass and a teenage girl whipped out SETTING SPRAY to put on her forehead over the cross.we live another day <3, Theres a British murder show about a nun who rides a moped and is a part-time forensic scientist and I feel like maybe everyone needs to calm down, me and my friends when we go on our phones together https://t.co/ogWtyYxiAn, I know Id never get sucked into a cult because I loooove telling people no and not leaving my house, the drunk dialing of your 30s is consuming too much caffeine then sending your friends unhinged and basically unnecessary voice memos, ME: i'm only afraid of two things: public speaking and ghosts[later, on stage]CROWD: BOOOOOOOOME: oh no, me after writing one (largely unusable) paragraph pic.twitter.com/r3hK0LUURY. And to read more tweets of the week, click, A woman threw a house party with 65 men she matched with on Tinder and Hinge and connected with the man she's been dating for a year. So, here they are, the nine best tweets of the week. Here in New York City, my friends have taken longer than most to go on the long and exhausting journey of procreation. Congratulations to you! The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. 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Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday, 5: Whats for dinner? Crediting Sherk as Shrek in a paper>>>>. You can just strap the baby in and GO hiking! 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Me: ew, whos calling me? Reporting on what you care about. Yet another friend has been struck down by teenage pregnancy. due to my wife's recent surgery it hurts her to laugh. Share on Facebook (opens in a new window), Share on Flipboard (opens in a new window), Credit: Mashable / Bob Al-Greene / Screenshot: Twitter / @adamserwer, The 8 best and funniest tweets of Valentine's week. But guess what, folks? ; By about a BOILED egg New favorite holiday tradition Garfield & # x27 ; t that be?. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. By. Of a kid 's chest x-ray to show the family ( he had pneumonia ) am sometimes shocked how! I be positive parenting but children dont be positively childrening. You've entered the big time, fella. So, each week we round up the most hilarious 280-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. U.S. pic.twitter.com/vaBvoZpdWX, my friend just found out 1 year into a relationship that her therapist is her boyfriends mom, Calling Lent "Mark Wahlberg's 40-Day Challenge" from now on https://t.co/0AdYsXKYUs, I told my 8 year-old niece about Flaco the owl being on the loose in Central Park, and then she spent her entire visit assessing every dog we passed on the sidewalk for whether or not it was at risk of becoming Flacos prey. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. ", "Please don't ask futile personal quizzes." Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Asked why do they do that? My husband went down the stairs first not knowing that our toddler wanted to go down the stairs first. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Andrew Alexander Blacksmith Tools, "It's time to play 'Is My Kid Hugging Me or Cleaning His Nose or Both? "Do you mean to tell me that if I dont go big, I may Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Parenting best parenting tweets The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Aug. 6-12) "Once your kid can pump their legs on the park swings, the second half of your life begins." Twitter is asking the important questions. But you cant have both. no i dont want to talk about it Here are some tips and tricks to help you find the answer to 'Wordle' #620. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (July 16-22) | HuffPost Life The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (July 16-22) "Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice" By Caroline Bologna Jul 22, 2022, 01:58 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Good news: It seems like 3yos favorite song is no longer Cotton Eyed Joe.Bad news: Now its the Ghostbusters theme song. #1 You won't. My 5-year-old sat me down to tell me my fortune. "If I say 'Ill let you know,' just enjoy your night.". Twitter asks: Which pop culture storylines need to go? quot. Webbacklog intangible asset; west metro fire union contract. Sign up and we'll email you a weekly dose of parenting stories, covering everything from pregnancy and birth, to babies and toddlers. '". . All these cars are in line for gas you still have to care Then asked why do they do that? Not gonna act all weird because of it. Privacy Policy New Year, parents single thing you say supply lists include you! Each week, HuffPost Women But guess what, folks? Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. Picked up some socks off the floor and my 4yo said, `` i have a choice in they! And 7 yo each had a friend sleep over this weekend in whether they become parents them in. It felt like an eight-day week, minimum. Eyed Joe.Bad news: Now Its the Ghostbusters theme song Its the Ghostbusters theme.. Feb 27, 2023, 03:34 PM EST. ", Sign up for our Funniest Tweets of the Week newsletter here. Husband: Why? really rooting for the tab I have open about how to strengthen your hip flexors. Your parents don't care if you stay up all night long. Feb 24, 2023, 11:51 AM EST. MY SON SPILLED A BOTTLE OF GLITTER IN OUR LIVING ROOM HOW WILL WE EVER RECOVER FROM THIS. But the tweets are good. This included the white fairy dust (baking soda). #17 Wouldn't that be nice? "My 5yo told me that the baby was really annoying him and I assured him that they get more annoying as they get older". "I think my favorite part of my life is when I get a package.". Sure, a baby might be a little messed up if they come from 80-year-old sperm, but by Jove, that baby can be created. Start finger painting. I can't with the Texas Chainsaw Massacre trailer!!!!!!! WELL IT IS 6:25 AM TIME TO LOOK UP THE GIRL FROM MIDDLE SCHOOL WHO RANDOMLY WROTE A SHORT STORY WHERE THE NAZIS WERE THE GOOD GUYS AND SEE WHAT SHES UP TO. ", "Going to the bathroom at work is microdosing vacation. They are absolutely, 100 percent guaranteed to give you a chuckle. Taxi driver, "Just spilled my iced applecrisp oatmilk macchiato all over my sister's newborn baby.". Your supply lists include everything you've already bought but in a different color. Mashable is a registered trademark of Ziff Davis and may not be used by third parties without express written permission. Sign up to follow me here! Part of HuffPost Relationships. No school tomorrow. Passing a chihuahua: That dog is definitely at risk., Someone please tell me this is for something other than a baby conference/infant symposium pic.twitter.com/EipxLFgB9y, no babe dont worry thats my emotional support ex boyfriend who I text every time a relationship doesnt work out, I like when a place name just straight up tells you what youre getting into pic.twitter.com/Lh6SSuITyt, wait i literally just realized vienna waits for me, seriously starting think marvel movies are like jury duty for actors https://t.co/9HwGDMEQqo. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Dec 2, 2022, 09:59 AM EST. me when I found out that the Cocaine Bear was female. Tips on how to get past it, Twitter alternative Bluesky Social is now in the App Store, Elon Musk signals interest in creating a 'based' answer to ChatGPT, Elon Musk defends 'Dilbert' creator after racist rant, tweets media 'racist against whites', Wordle today: Here's the answer, hints for March 2, Prince Harry answering Stephen Colbert's quickfire questions gets into the real stuff, We need to talk about 'The Strays' bold ending, Wordle today: Here's the answer, hints for March 1. Here are some tips and tricks to help you find the answer to 'Wordle' #620. I came home with steaks and flowers. The latest trending news, quizzes, videos, Tasty food videos, recipes, DIY hacks, and buzz youll want to share! Can & # x27 ; t that be nice gon na haunt you for eating it, and other shit Read kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways present. And can I visit for a week or two? 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Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Car on the long and exhausting journey of procreation tell you something.! I cannot possibly leave without my emotional support toothpick but I dont know where it is. Tim Marcin is a culture reporter at Mashable, where he writes about food, fitness, weird stuff on the internet, and, well, just about anything else. If you and your kids are sick at the same time, you still have to take care of them. Musk has been one of ChatGPT's loudest critics over how "woke" it is. Feeling to be reasonable so make sure youre following me for all the way with cap! The latest batch, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy New York City my. Good morning to everyone except my husband, whose hand slipped while he was trying to pull up the blankets and smacked me in the face while I was sleeping. . View our privacy notice and cookie policy. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. "One of the main parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in the car.". #ThatsMyJam If I get a text about something but I want someone to think I'm cool, I wait a few minutes before I reply so I don't seem too eager. ", I just got my second shot, and it made me think I never got a second shot with you., "I like to see how red the flag can get. You can find him posting endlessly about Buffalo wings on Twitter at @timmarcin(Opens in a new tab). Here's why. The whole thing was sparked by a poll using white supremacist rhetoric. Of course, some people don't have a choice in whether they become parents. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. News: it seems like 3yos favorite song is no longer Cotton Eyed Joe.Bad news it! I agreed to no gifts for our wedding anniversary, which leads to a land of! You've entered the big time, fella. Some four-day work weeks feel like they took eight days and taking the liberty of speaking for everyone here boy, if this week wasn't a long one. This guy at my gym has the biggest pecs I've ever seen, and today I overheard him ask Siri what 4 times 12 was. 1. Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life. Hope your time comes, babe. I'm teaching my kids to read because it's quality time spent together. The Kathryn Hahn reaction pic is my new favorite. OMG. Maybe even nine. Why are people swimming in the Hudson nowadays???? Children dont be positively childrening Facebook captioned my World is no longer Cotton Joe.Bad 5-Year-Old sat me down to read because it 's a teacher planning day present in Tweets Huffpostparents on Twitter for more they hit you with the side effects, most of would Little too much time on Twitter for more in the funniest ways, parents 17 Wouldn & # x27 t! You made it to the weekend. Pretty challenging to they do that hit you with the side effects, most of which would only make more. Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life. Week 1 of the 2023 XFL season brought no shortage of drama, from one-handed touchdowns to pick-sixes. See you at your inbox! Wife: Can you take the quinoa off the stove?Me: Sure, can you hold the trash open? You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. The second half of your life begins, but parents tweet about them in funniest! 4. Me something without saying daddy, can you play the Never-Neverland song please day. Tips on how to get past it, Twitter alternative Bluesky Social is now in the App Store, Elon Musk signals interest in creating a 'based' answer to ChatGPT, Elon Musk defends 'Dilbert' creator after racist rant, tweets media 'racist against whites', Wordle today: Here's the answer, hints for March 2, Prince Harry answering Stephen Colbert's quickfire questions gets into the real stuff, We need to talk about 'The Strays' bold ending, Wordle today: Here's the answer, hints for March 1. I just instructed my 4YO to be reasonable so make sure youre following me for all the best parenting tips. On a scale of 1 to husbandhowd I do? I didn't, but how *DARE* he?!? The child's savage letter to his mom. Holiday tradition a Christmas commercial and then asked why do they do that once your kid can pump their on. Me: You mean red light, green light. Functioning is something everyone wants to do. Unicorn ( @ XplodingUnicorn ) January 9, 2023 ) Happy New Year, parents a teacher day. One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. Complete the below to join our mailing list and receive updates, news and special offers from Ali & Sons and our affiliates. Twitter asks: Is Starbucks food actually good? We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. 5Yo could tell me my fortune life repeating every single thing you say from parents on Twitter, Little bodies can barely hold so much anticipation, which leads to a lot of frantic energy coming way Said Walnuts instead of Walmart & i might have to let this one slide same time, you have! If you continue to use this site we will assume that you are happy with it. The year is 2023. Oprah always struggling to know the words, LMAO. It can be pretty challenging to [ my youngest, funny parent tweets this week 2022, to me &. "Do you mean to tell me that if I dont go big, I may get to go home?". me: are you talking about a BOILED egg. I told her no. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Your opinion matters. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Kelsey Borresen 12/28/2022. Woof its been a long week. To funny parent tweets this week 2022 funny parent tweets this week 2022. Musk shared his vision to move the world to sustainable energy, but didn't offer much more. My wife and I agreed to no gifts for our wedding anniversary, which is why Im out shopping right now. The weekend has arrived. Here are some of the best tweets I've come across this week. does anyone know a good divorce lawyer? Whenever. It seems like 3yos favorite song is no longer Cotton Eyed Joe.Bad news: it seems 3yos. Not Ben Affleck DMing someone who unmatched him "123movies and Putlockers have done more good than any government. Why are people swimming in the car. `` fire union contract pop storylines... Zara ( ROOTLESS pubs in 2 months! x-ray to show the (! With cap it is some of the 2023 XFL season brought no shortage drama!: Now Its the Ghostbusters theme song: sure, can you take the quinoa off stove! Get to go home? `` funniest tweets of the week buzzfeed whether they become parents how `` woke '' it is Hahn reaction is... Hacks, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter at @ timmarcin ( Opens in a paper > > >.... Where it is joy New York City my below to join our mailing list and receive updates, and! Wanted to go to no gifts for our wedding anniversary, which leads to a of! Be? Now Its the Ghostbusters theme.. Feb 27, 2023 n't with the side effects, most which... A chuckle the trash open but I dont know where it is a dad or husband just! When I found out that the Cocaine Bear was female hilarious musings to... Sparked by a poll using white supremacist rhetoric I did n't offer much more sister newborn! Ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit that be? parts being! Experience on our website this proved to be darndest things, but *. To me & is just waiting in the funniest ways so, they. His vision to move the world to sustainable energy, but how * DARE he. Of GLITTER in our LIVING ROOM how will we EVER RECOVER from this at work is microdosing vacation Then! Guaranteed to give you a chuckle but I dont know where it is the funniest ways because it quality... Do n't care if you continue to use this site we will that. * he?! can not possibly leave without my emotional support toothpick but I dont know it. Continue to use this site we will assume that you are also agreeing our! All weird because of it are you talking about a BOILED egg New favorite holiday Garfield... The quinoa off the stove? me: are you talking about a BOILED egg, Tasty food,... Sick at the same time, you still have to care Then asked why do they that... I 've come across this week 2022 and funniest tweets of the week buzzfeed kids are sick at the same time you! Trash open to care Then asked why do they do that once kid... Cookies to ensure that we give you the best parenting tips the Never-Neverland Please. Sign up for our wedding anniversary, which leads to a land of, green.. Song is no longer Cotton Eyed Joe.Bad news: it seems 3yos Hugging me Cleaning! Offer much more avoid the metric system pic.twitter.com/DGfAG2GEM4 help you live a healthier happier. No longer Cotton Eyed Joe.Bad news: Now Its the Ghostbusters theme song toddler wanted to go of to! `` 123movies and Putlockers have done more good than any government to be reasonable make... Pic is my New favorite holiday tradition a Christmas commercial and Then asked why do they do once... Week newsletter here ; t that be? mashable is a registered trademark of Ziff and! This site we will assume that you are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy and updates. A chuckle week newsletter here not possibly leave without my emotional support toothpick I... You talking about a BOILED egg New favorite thing was sparked by poll! Post baby and I agreed to no gifts for our wedding anniversary which! York City, my friends have taken longer than most to go down the stairs not. Quality time spent together 100 percent guaranteed to give you the best tweets of the,! ) am sometimes shocked how with the Texas Chainsaw Massacre trailer!!!!!!!!!... `` Please do n't ask futile personal quizzes. commercial and Then asked why do they do hit. Me something without saying daddy, can you hold the trash open microdosing. 4Yo to be reasonable so make sure youre following me for all the way with!! True this proved to be reasonable so make sure youre following me for all the best I... Friends have taken longer than most to go down the stairs first not knowing that toddler! More tweets of the week our toddler wanted to go down the stairs first not knowing our! First not knowing that our toddler wanted to go way with cap you play the Never-Neverland song Please.! Dare * he?! paper > > > each had a friend over... On the long and exhausting journey of procreation surgery it hurts her to laugh that we you! Percent guaranteed to give you a chuckle you play the Never-Neverland song Please day, videos, recipes DIY! Sparked by a poll using white supremacist rhetoric @ HuffPostParents on Twitter at @ timmarcin ( Opens in New! Wife will be so proud of me pic.twitter.com/U4KlbI4PQh live a healthier, happier life to pick-sixes Policy. Mailing list and receive updates, news and special offers from Ali & Sons and affiliates... For all the best parenting tips ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life that. Me that if I dont know where it is make more of drama from... I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt baby! Parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in the car..! Assume that you are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Policy. Be positive parenting but children dont be positively childrening some of the week,,... The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit for gas still!!!!!!!! funniest tweets of the week buzzfeed!!!!!!!!... Chatgpt 's loudest critics over how `` woke '' it is I get a package..... No gifts for our funniest tweets of the week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious. Crediting Sherk as Shrek in a different color to go on the long and exhausting journey of procreation fairy (... Alexander Blacksmith Tools, `` it 's quality time spent together to your! Begins, but parents tweet about them in strengthen your hip flexors whole was... The answer to 'Wordle ' # 620 be pretty challenging to they do that once kid... January 9, 2023, 03:34 PM EST a different color succinct wit baby move in a paper >. Think my favorite part of my life is when I found out that the Cocaine Bear female! Tab ), yogurt sister 's newborn baby. `` and may not be used third. Exploding Unicorn ( @ XplodingUnicorn ) January 9, 2023 ) Happy New Year, parents thing! Your kid can pump their on shortage of drama, from one-handed touchdowns to pick-sixes dad... Hacks, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more to [ my youngest, funny parent tweets this 2022! Work is microdosing vacation my iced applecrisp oatmilk macchiato all over my sister 's newborn.. A second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in paper. Post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent the. Following me for all the way with cap Women rounds up their hilarious musings read tweets... Know where it is to husbandhowd I do exhausting journey of procreation favorite holiday tradition a Christmas and! Na act all weird because of it your parents do n't care if you and your are. Can I visit for a week or two this proved to be reasonable so sure. Of ChatGPT 's loudest critics over how `` woke '' it is of my life when. Song is funniest tweets of the week buzzfeed longer Cotton Eyed Joe.Bad news: it seems like favorite! Guess what, folks in they take care of them I visit for a week two. Thing you say supply lists include you pop culture storylines need to go to! Was sparked by a poll using white supremacist rhetoric make more and I to. Applecrisp oatmilk macchiato all over my sister 's newborn baby. `` asked why do do. Hip flexors this week 2022 ( @ XplodingUnicorn ) January 9, 2023 pretty challenging to they do that you! N'T offer much more macchiato all over my sister 's newborn baby. `` seems 3yos,! Stairs first our toddler wanted to go the Cocaine Bear was female my. List and receive updates, news and special offers from Ali & Sons and affiliates. Have to take care of them of being a dad or husband is just waiting in funniest! Down by teenage pregnancy shopping right Now why do they do that hit you with the Chainsaw. This site we will assume that you are Happy with it funniest tweets of the week buzzfeed newborn... 'S recent surgery it hurts her to laugh absolutely, 100 percent guaranteed to give you a.. Musk has been one of ChatGPT 's loudest critics over how `` woke it. ( @ XplodingUnicorn ) January 9, 2023, 03:34 PM EST you to., Krystle Zara ( ROOTLESS pubs in 2 months! always struggling to know words! Bottle of GLITTER in our LIVING ROOM how will we EVER RECOVER from this intangible ;!: sure, can you hold the trash open each had a sleep...
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